Your Mom loved it….but do you??

Our Moms collected stuff from another era. Stuff they loved, displayed and used. Like silverware, decorative glass bottles and Toby Jugs (just to name a few!).

When our folks pass away and leave us with these treasures, it is often difficult to decide what to do with them. 

“My Mom always wanted a silver serving set” a recent client said to me, as I stared down into a vast box overflowing with silver plated bowls, platters, candle stick holders etc, etc, etc. There was a sad, wistful look on his face as he said this. And, in contrast, I’m thinking “she had one, how wonderful”!

He knew that it wasn't his taste and that the likelihood of his ever using it was slim. But still, the thought of selling his Mother’s pride sat like a rock in the pit of his stomach. It seemed like a betrayal. She had worked so hard and had taken many years to accumulate the collection that we now stared down upon.

It is not the “thing” that we value so much, but the meaning it had for the ones we’ve lost. My client’s Mom loved her serving set but he doesn’t. He loves the memory of her loving it and the importance it held for her. What to do??

How do you preserve the memory but let these items go? First, try keeping only 1 or 2 things that you see yourself using. Second, look for an old photo of Mom using the serving set? Third, set it up in the dining room, and photograph/video you and your family/friends using it one last time. And, of course, don’t forget to make a “toast” to Mom!

In our modern world, sentimentality cannot rule. We just don’t have the time or space. It certainly is allowed to reside but let’s give it a smaller corner of our universe. Integrate, keep some things, but not all. Personal items are important but as with the story of my client, if you can’t use it or display it, as our parents did, it’s going to waste. You are not honouring these items (or the memories) by putting them in a box and leaving them unseen until your children inherit them.